Long distance relationships consistently get a bad rap. They are always looked down upon, told that they don’t work out, or that it just seems plain stupid. Are these people right? Are long distance relationships doomed for disaster? Long distance relationships are not ideal; they take a lot of work, and can truly put someone’s connection to the test. But they are worth it. Relationships are never truly easy, they’re not meant to be. So, what is a little extra work for something that means so much? If two people want something bad enough, they’ll do anything to make it work. If that effort isn’t there, it will never work.
I was recently placed into a situation where a long-distance relationship was discussed. I had been dating this guy for about four and a half months. We spent several days a week together; move nights at his house, hanging at mine, date nights, etc. Not talking to him for a day felt weird. It was obvious that he had become part of my life.
About three months into dating, he found out that his job was transferring him to the East coast. I was devastated, and there was nothing we could do. He was set to leave in a month and a half from when we found out. We mutually agreed to ignore the date, continue on with our relationship, and planned to re-evaluate later on.
Over the next month and a half, the relationship continued to progress and my feelings grew stronger and stronger. As the date approached, I thought more about long distance. It was going to be difficult with him being 10 hours away, but I didn’t want to lose him.
Some may think I’m crazy for wanting to do a long-distance relationship only being about four months in. Some may say it’s not long enough for a relationship to withstand the distance. Being in my senior could be viewed as a complication. It could be a disaster in the making. Or it could be what was meant for me.
When dooms day arrived, it was time for him and I to discuss our options. It was clear that we both had strong feelings for one another, and a cold goodbye was not going to work. But the talk of continuing our relationship across four states and total of ten hours was far from smooth. He only saw the complications of long distance, and his judgement was clouded from these fears. As thorough as I was with creating a plan for us, he still wasn’t certain that long distance would work. This was something that we couldn’t get past.
Distance puts a relationship to the test. Both people involved have to want it enough to not let it come between them. The distance is only literal, and should never become part of the relationship. I was fully committed to him and our possible long-distance relationship, but he was one foot out. It would never work with only one person putting in the effort.
Long distance relationships require 110% effort from both individuals. While the recipe for a successful long-distance relationship is unclear and not the same for everyone, one thing is; you have to want it.