Creating an Everlasting Relationship With Your Mother-in-Law

A popular theme in beloved romantic movies is the feud between the girlfriend/finance and the mother-in-law or in-laws in general. This theme can be seen in movies such as Monster-In-Law, The Family Stone or Meet the Parents.

Growing up I have seen how the media portrays in-law relationships. I have heard horror in-law stories from extended family and friends, but I have always been determined to doctor a close, loving relationship with my in-laws. There doesn’t have to be a huge feud between yourself and your in-laws. To me, one of the best parts of being with someone is gaining another family.

My boyfriend is the youngest of five children. He has four older sisters…four. Meeting his family was more than intimidating. The sister closest to my age was still six years older than me. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to win over the affection of his parents, his four sisters, their husbands and one little nephew.

First I fell in love with a boy, next I fell in love with his entire family. I feel blessed to have the memories, love and support from my in laws. It took some time and effort to develop a strong relationship with my in laws. There were and still are some obstacles when dealing with the awkwardness that comes with in laws.

I love my boyfriend’s mother. I probably communication with her more times a week than he does. However, there is always some strange tension between us when it comes to what is best for my boyfriend, who is her only son. I think it is a situation that is tough for all parties, the shift between relying on your mom to now relying on your significant other.

My boyfriend is at the stage in life now that he wants to focus on only three things; his career, his friends and me. It’s lucky for me, but sometimes mama bear feels rejected. In order to keep the peace with my future mother-in-law I always make sure to keep her in the loop even when my boyfriend doesn’t want to. Also, I plan events such as dinners at our place which allows us all to stay close on our terms.

When it comes to bonding with my boyfriend’s many sisters, I plan fun activities for us to create memories. Sometimes we plan a girls beach day while other nights we have sister sleepovers when the boys are up north hunting. I have two sisters of my own, so I know how harsh the fights can be and how deep and true the love can be within sister relationships. To keep a strong, healthy relationship with my sister-in-laws I always make sure to treat them just as I would my biological sisters.

Once I won over the parents and sisters, I was able to finally gain some brothers. I grew up with a household of only girls. Once I joined my boyfriend’s family, I was so happy to finally have brother-like relationships. Sometimes all it takes is some effort. I would learn their interests such as football, NASCAR or golfing and discuss these topics with them. One of my brother-in-laws actually took me out and taught me how to golf. It is just as simple as knowing your audience.

My favorite relationship I got from my boyfriend’s family was my nephew. I started to date my boyfriend when his nephew was only two years old. Winning over a toddler isn’t a lot of work, but I still made sure to put in an effort. I cleared a day in my week each summer to babysit him and form a special aunt-like relationship with him. I found that setting aside time was all I really needed to do.

There are many truths to the in-law feuds, but forming a close bond with your in-laws is 100% achievable. You need to just take notice to any tensions and address them head on, make sure to plan fun activities to help stimulate conversation and lasting memories, learn one another’s interests, and set aside time in your busy schedule to make an effort. I love my in-laws and I think it is such an important bond and special type of love that everyone should try to have. The road leading to this great relationship is long, winding and bumpy but the destination is truly beautiful.