The Harsh Reality of a Technology Dependency: Collective Loneliness

As children grow up and learn how to communicate, they adopt new ways to do so. Technology swiftly introduced a conversation beyond face-to-face, but this form of communication has led to a large issue that could leave potential deficits surrounding mental and physical illnesses all because of “collective loneliness.”

This phenomenon has caused a collective wave of emotion for many people that leaves them never wanting to steer away from a slight connection over an Instagram D.M., snapchat, or Twitter reply, in fear that the conversation will die, and the loneliness will settle in.

Collective loneliness has universal effects on every person, but especially in children, as they have grown to communicate through technology on more than a superficial basis. The long-term effects a child may face include social, physical, and mental health problems, such as depression, social anxiety, heart conditions, and of course, loneliness, according to a 2020 Preventive Medicine article.

Sheryl Grosman is a mom of two children, ages 11 and 14. She witnesses the communication skills within her children every day and how their devices have impacted their well-being. She allows them to connect with others online as it was inevitable with the constant advertisement and pressure to buy into technology.

“I notice that my children become more and more dependent on their phones for everything, and anything more than they do with the people in their real lives, like me,” said Grosman.

For decades, the loneliness epidemic has become a rising problem to navigate away from. Technology has pushed people past their own abilities to be alone with themselves, so they forever crave connection with technology as their drug.

In January 2020, a survey, led by the health insurer Cigna, revealed that three out of every five Americans identify as lonely, “poorly understood, left out, and lacking companionship” – and the rapid rise of social media, gig jobs, and the COVID-19 pandemic will only continue to help normalize this type of isolation.

Leya Moore, PhD, is a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee with professional interests in internal and external psychological, social, and cultural factors that may impact students’ college-going experiences, academic persistence, and general well-being. Moore strives to enhance individual and community wellness.

According to Moore, many young adults now struggle to feel a sense of community or real connection due to what she believes is a fear of vulnerability.

“A conversation over a text is not something that can allow us to be open and mindful to who we truly are,” said Moore. “It stops us from a creating real connection.”

In our nature, we correlate a constant stream of communication as a fulfilling connection, but in most cases, the pure objective of technology was to make communicating more efficient and by no means, meaningful.

When people are forced to be alone in moments of solidarity, they begin to itch and fidget as the impulse to use their device deepens. That sheer give-in to the impulse will distract them from an unwarranted feeling of being alone. People crave constant emotion, and the reliance on technology has become an outlet.

With that being said, many people confide in their devices because it has given them a chance to build relationships and grow close ties with people they don’t see face-to-face.

Megan Oles, 21, merely struggling to find connection beyond the screen has suffered the consequences, “after the past year I find it difficult to know how to have a real conversation anymore.”

The use of technology has prevented numerous people from finding a real-life connection because with the use of filters and asynchronous conversation, people can edit who they are and become an enhanced version of themselves or even a completely different people.

Even though technology makes real relationships seem doubtful; some people do find those rare real-life connections from meeting someone online.

Overcoming the loneliness many people struggle with has been a problem for decades now because technology keeps allowing an alternative way to fill that void.

“Sometimes when I am feeling low, I take my emotions to reddit where I can be anonymous and know that the people responding to me will give me advice without ever knowing who I am,” said Oles.

There has become a decreased need for inter-personal connections when technology has filled the spot of friend, mentor, teacher, emotional support system, and possibly everything we could want from an in-person connection, but without the in-person part.

Very commonly people compare technology to having the world right at the tips of their fingers, but when the virtual connection is amongst the only connection a person can experience then their world, in turn, becomes full of empty conversations and normalized isolation.