Disney Plus Movies and Shows No One Expected

Disney+ launched this week and while everyone is rejoicing over their entire childhood being back, there are some odd additions to the platform that cannot be overlooked. From unnecessary Disney classic sequels pulling out your deepest suppressed memories, to Garfield popping in for no explainable reason, some features on Disney+ sure are mind-boggling.

6. The Muppets (ABC Series)

Essentially, imagine The Office but, like, with more Muppets. Now, imagine that exact scenario but your child watching it. Don’t come at me with the whole “it’s PG-13!” defense. I’ve heard Muppets make jokes about BBQ, the plague, and Amsterdam. Really makes you wonder why it didn’t last a whole season.

5. Disney’s Fairy Tale Wedding’s (and all its variations)

Okay – yes! I know this is literally a Disney produced show but what on Earth is it doing on the streaming service? Does anyone actually remember this show being on air, let alone actually watched it? And is this the bone being tossed for parents so they have something to watch since I know for a fact no child has ever wondered what a magical Disney wedding would include.

While I am sure it is very magical for anyone who was able to get on the show, and I am certainly not bashing anyone’s special Disney day, but I just cannot imagine who wants to watch someone else’s wedding video. That sounds like you have gone over to a friends’ house who just got married and they wanna brag all about it even though you were, like, there. They gotta send flaunt the wedding website until they’re blue in the fact. So, like imagine that, but a corporate giant doing that to you.

4. Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Who let Disney possess this wonderful movie? I’m not mad it’s on there, just like… what the heck is going on? The backbone of this movie was that it was good and not part of the conglomerate. Sure, I’m very excited to have the ability to watch it any time I please, and yes, they better snatch up the sequels (minus The Long Haul – that movie can die a slow, painful death) but I am still baffled by this addition and nothing will ever make sense about it.

Honestly, all this really proves to me is that Disney is scarier than we thought, and certainly nothing is safe from Bob Iger’s iron grip on the entertainment world. Still, I will probably watch it and maybe I am slightly grateful for the addition, but also totally weirded out by it.

3. All sequels and spin-offs from classic Disney animations

From weird Lion King TV spin-offs to the dreadful Cinderella sequels, Disney has to remind us all that they have the power to kill your love for the holy grail originals.

Once again, I understand these are Disney properties (like traditionally – not bought!) so you put your pitchforks and angry mob away, but who is seriously enjoying this? I’ve got ten dollars to the first person who comes home from a long day of classes and says, “Boy, I sure would love to watch The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginnings despite the fact it was made 19 years after the original film and went straight to DVD.”

I have even more money for the person who can pretend to enjoy it and then recite back the plot without making a single confused face. Like, honestly. What the heck were even the spin-offs and sequels? There are ones I didn’t even know existed like other Peter Pan sequels. If this is your favorite movie like at all, please keep it to yourself.

2. National Geographic’s productions

This partnership confuses me because I just straight up didn’t know Disney snatched up National Geographic. It really was the forgotten child in the Disney/Fox deal. Either way, whether Disney is the parent company of National Geographic now, never in a million years did I expect all these nature documentaries to be on here. Disney didn’t believe their Disney Nature movies were suffice enough, huh? Bold.

Not only does this partnership bring nature documentaries you certainly didn’t ask for and will be traumatized by at 3 AM, it also added some odd documentaries. For example, there’s a piece on Princess Diana that I know all the cool kids on the school yard will be rushing home to check out. Of course, to not be a Debby-downer, this will open conversations with families to explain history, but wow. Bold way to do it once again, Disney.

1. Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties

Did anyone truly know this film existed? Who made this and then decided Disney could get its paws (ha, ha — get it?) on it? Yeah, okay, it checks off the whole “family friendly” motto Disney will die on protecting, but dang, what a weird choice to meet that quota with. Also, if you’re gonna put one Garfield movie on Disney+, put them all on. There are 4 other movies just waiting in the wings, Disney.

I will not rest until we have full representation of Garfield on a single platform. They aren’t like just chilling anywhere else I don’t think, so they can have a perfect home at Disney+. Maybe just supply with a bit of lasagna (okay, sorry – I hate myself for that one as well) and this whole thing can be cleared up. The glo-ups Garfield goes through within his movies, though? Stunning. Unlike anything else. I’m just making the case for you Disney now. Hear me out.