Too Fast, Too Slow… Who even cares?

Relationships seem to follow a specific timeline that society has created. One month; things are fairly new and you shouldn’t get your hopes up. Two months; several dates have happened, and the two of you are still getting to know one another. Three months; it becomes safe to assume that the two of you are exclusive, but if you’re still wondering now is the time to have that conversation. Four months; officially boyfriend-girlfriend, and you start to incorporate each other into your daily lives, meeting friends and co-workers. Five months; conversations about the future are taking place. Six months; you start to fall in love. Seven months and on, your relationship follows suit to society’s template. After a year, there can be discussion of moving in together. After that, engagement. Then a year later, the wedding. Then the rest of your lives. But what if it’s not supposed to be this way?

What if a relationship challenges the status quo, and someone says, “I love you” three months in? Or two weeks in …? Or a couple gets engaged with only knowing each other for six months? Are these relationships any less compared to others? We have this mentality that relationships have to function on a specific month-to-month timeline, and we have to base our feelings off of this. People often say “they’re moving so fast,” or “it’s way too soon for them”… but who are we to say this?

Everyone has their own opinion on someone else’s relationship, and whether or not it is moving too fast. Society has created an outline that relationships are supposed to follow, but honestly, it’s complete bullsh*t. If two people are on the same page and feel that they are supposed to be at that certain point, let them. If it works for them, great. If it’s not for you and your partner, mind your own business.

If there is one thing that we all know about relationships and love, it’s that not everyone is the same. Each relationship I have been in is completely different from the rest. My relationships are different from my friends, and from their friends, and from yours. The ideology of having to follow a certain timeline isn’t realistic. If we are feeling a certain way, that can’t be changed or suppressed to succumb to the timeline. Embrace it. Challenge society and those around you. Show them that not every relationship is the same, and that there is nothing wrong with this.

I have some friends whose relationships are extremely unique, and society might critique of moving “too fast.” But these are some of the most loving relationships I have ever witnessed, and that is the whole point. These relationships might be too fast for some, but their love developed quickly because the connection was there. Everyone loves differently.

One of them said “I love you” three months into dating. Too soon? Maybe for you, but for them it’s what felt right. Three months in and they knew, three years later the love is still there. She knew that maybe it was a little fast for other people, but it felt just right for her.

Another started their relationship long distance pretty early on. My close friend was being deployed and had recently started dating someone. Some might call her crazy, or say that it was too soon for their relationship to withstand long distance and deployment. Over a year later, their relationship is stronger than ever. This relationship challenged society every way possible. The development of their love spread across two countries, but it worked. Their connection was deep enough and strong enough to overcome the distance.

The other relationship progressed at pace that lead them to being engaged a year in of being together. Knowing that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with one another, they dove head first into love. Their wedding is in six months, and the rest of their lives are to follow.

A relationship is beautiful and unique, none like the rest.  If you are falling in love four months into dating someone, then fall. Fall hard and fast if that’s what your heart is telling you to do. If you want to move across the country because the person you love is moving, then move. If you’re engaged and planning to get married within a matter of months, plan fast (and good luck). Who are we to judge someone else’s relationship? Moving too fast is simply a myth now-a-days.