Texting First as a Woman

With today’s dating culture there are so many dating rules to follow, too many almost. Women have to be available to men, but not too available otherwise it’s a “turnoff.” You have to wait a certain amount of time to “friend,” “follow” or “add” someone on all social media platforms— and there’s a specific order you must do them in. It’s okay to “follow” on Instagram first, and once they follow you back then you can add them on Facebook. For some reason, Instagram is less official or threatening compared to Facebook. You have to make sure you let the guy know you’re interested, but don’t blatantly tell him or he’ll run. To even get any of these relationship mile markers, you have to master communicating in our modern society: texting.

When texting the guy we’re interested in, we suddenly create a whole new set of rules. Don’t respond right away. Don’t wait too long though. Do use sarcasm, but not too much. Don’t double text and don’t let your message be too long. Or too short, then he will think you’re being sassy. One rule remains unknown though, can you text him first? Is it socially acceptable for the woman to be the one to initiate communication first, or does everything have to be on his terms?

There is so much pressure on women within society, and especially with the modern dating culture society has created. It’s been embedded in our brains that the man has to make all the first moves. First to reach out, first to ask out on a date, first to lean in for a kiss, first everything. We as women, for some reason, allow them to make all the decisions while we sit and wonder. This mentality is old fashioned and outdated. Women can absolutely make the first move; all the first moves.

Living in a world that embraces and encourages powerful women, embrace it yourself. If you’re a woman waiting for that guy to text you, pick up your phone and text him. Women can text the guy first. We’ve been dating wrong for years. If there is a connection between two people, then those two individuals are equally responsible for their relationship. Meaning, you can text him first.

We often over analyze the littlest things when it comes to dating, and it’s time we stop. A guy probably won’t even think twice when he sees you texted or called him first. He’ll be happy. He wants to hear from you, and you want to hear from him. So why not do something that shows him this? There’s an old-fashioned rule about waiting three days until contacting the other person after a date. Throw that idea out the window; if you want to talk to him then do it. Our dating culture plays one too many mind games, and then we get upset when things don’t go our way. How can we expect others to read our minds? The subtle hints we drop are often not obvious at all. So, instead of spending two days thinking of the other person and then sulking because we didn’t do anything about it, do something.

Women often have this tendency of questioning whether they’ve exposed too much of themselves to man too soon. By this I mean that women frequently question if they should make their interest obvious to the guy. This is a mentality that I completely disagree with, and correlates directly with texting a guy first. Society puts so much onto texting which is why everyone consistently over thinks it, and in reality, it is not a big deal. Texting a guy first does not make you too available, or too interested. Not the slightest.

So, if you’re a woman, and questioning whether or not you can text the guy first stop questioning. Just go for it. Send the first message, and make the first move. There is nothing holding you back.