How the Debate Press Room Resembled a Future Robot Takeover

Being in the press room for the debate is like my vision of the future robot takeover. The union ballroom has been transformed into a hub of activity with wires leading to long trestle tables set up throughout the whole hall. Large flat screen TV’s are set up intermittently throughout the space. If the robots wanted to brainwash every person there by projecting their message of intent to those crammed around the screens, it would be an easy job. An imposing dais is at the front of the room where blindingly bright lights shine into the crowd and illuminate the hosts who are waiting to be thrown to at the 11 o’clock news.

Once I got over the Star Trek vibe of the room, I began to pay attention to the types of people who were there and if one thing is for sure, it’s that in journalism, there is a type. It’s like a Brooks Brothers has exploded in the hall as men in crisp dress shirts and brightly colored ties stride confidently around the ballroom. Some of them look vaguely familiar, like I’ve seen them on TV before, but I can’t quite place them. The women are equally outfitted in business clothes that do not look like the type of outfit that I want to spend five hours sitting around in.

The hours before the debate pass much in uniform fashion. The journalists walk around the ballroom filming themselves for posterity and sometimes do their stand ups in front of the large banners announcing the debate. People are walking around eating bratwursts and trying to look professional at the same time (Hint: it can’t be done.) Men of a certain age clap each other heartily on the back like old friends and proceed to brag about their accomplishments to each other like they’re trying to establish a hierarchy within the debate room.

At about 6:45 p.m., a chant erupts outside the ballroom and cameras were hefted onto shoulders and a mad dash to capture a protest began. Protesters were trying to break into the media filing center in the UWM ballroom, and made it into the foyer. Every person in there went into journalist mode and as soon as the 30 seconds of B-roll were filmed and stand ups had been done, the relative calm of the press room has been restored once again.  That was the most exciting thing that happened all night. A bunch of people ran to capture the protest like people run to get a discount blender on Black Friday.

When the debate started, it was like everyone’s microchip has been activated, and they all begin to furiously type on their open laptops without a look to the person next to them. If they could bottle that total focus that every one of those people had, the market for Adderall would disappear. For an hour and a half, it seemed like no one in that room breathed or spoke; only when one of the candidates made a funny remark did some murmurings spread throughout the room but just as fast as it began, it stopped, making you wonder if you had even heard it at all.

Deciding that Dr. Evil’s lair was a little too much for me, I made my way out of the ballroom to find some students to talk to. The one place I thought I could find students willing to talk about the debate was the Gasthaus. So with only half an hour left in the debate I went in search of someone a little too liquored up with some things to say.

The Gasthaus proved to be a mecca for slightly drunk people talking out of their asses. Bartender Elaina Knecht had a few stories to tell me.

“A girl yelled out, ‘raise your hand if you’re voting for Bernie, I’ll buy you a drink’,” said Knecht.

It seemed that students were getting in the spirit of things as multiple shouts of joy and grumbles of dissent would break out sporadically around the Gasthaus for the debate.

Jimmy Kuczynski, a student from the Milwaukee School of Engineering, was amazed at the involvement of the student body.

“[People] actually talk about the debate,” said Kuczynski.

That became evident as a slightly raucous debate began a few seats next to me and ended when one of the participants was deemed too drunk to participate and had to drop out.

The debate may not be for everyone but the one uniting theme throughout the night was how cool it was to see our school host something this prestigious.

Things I saw in the press room:

• Multiple people rocking the double iPhone game
• A man writing his story wearing those noise canceling headphones that only fighter pilots wear
• A group of middle aged men talking a selfie with an obnoxiously long selfie stick
• A man taking off his blazer to only replace it with a down jacket
• A cup of coffee or a red bull in front of almost every bleary eyed journalist