When a classmate says, “You’re the least scary black guy I’ve ever met,” I’m not a student. I’m a black student.

Don’t attach stereotypes to me based on my skin color. Don’t expect me to act less like myself because it may make one stereotype appear a bit truer. Don’t choke on your spit in surprise when you realize I’m more like you than you thought I’d be. Don’t remind me that I’m black. I know I’m black. I’ve been the same for 24 years.

I’d always seen myself as a student first, never a black student, just a student. A series of irritating events is what reminded me that I would always be black first. I decided to take ASL this semester because I wanted to expand my language skills to help improve my resume. Imagine my surprise when the professor introduced me, the only black student, as “the big, black guy.” I wasn’t angry. I have no problem standing out, but his description of me sent my mind dashing back through all the other times someone had used my skin color as an identifier.

A classmate once told me, “You’re the least scary black guy I’ve ever met.” It was meant as a compliment. The thing she didn’t realize is that the other black males in the classroom all felt like they’d been insulted. A lot of people assume that young, black men are to be feared. That sentiment is not true. Because of that stereotype, I always remind myself to smile when I’m in public. When I have a calm face, women tend to look at me like I’m about to punch a code into my phone that will teleport their purses into my hand.

If you walked into a classroom full of black men would you be afraid or feel uncomfortable? Would you feel like you may get unwanted sexual attention? I’m not afraid of white men because I don’t know all of them. Surely I have more of a reason to be afraid than others do. My ancestors were the ones who were kidnapped, raped, beaten, and murdered for profit once upon a time by men with the very same appearance as the ones I see today. The difference is I understand that until you get to know someone you cannot judge him or her.

I don’t have to be less black to make you feel more comfortable. I don’t have to refrain from wearing black hoodies to class because someone thinks I look suspicious. Skin color is not something negative you have to overlook to appreciate the rest of the person you are looking at. It is not a flaw that you have to ignore in order to admire someone’s work.

I understand the politics of throwing “the race card.” I know many non-minorities don’t like to discuss race, but that is because they don’t often find themselves being the victims of racism.

Imagine digging your hand into a bag of apples and not knowing which one is poison. That is how I feel every time I walk into a classroom. I enter every situation with caution, but in the end all I want is to get an apple and hope venom isn’t in it.