Axel’s: Where Nobody Knows Your Name

I walk into Axel’s bar on Oakland Avenue on a Tuesday night. Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Hey, Tonight” is blaring over the speakers. The haggardness of John Fogerty’s voice combined with the blown-out speaker perfectly captures the rugged feel that is Axel’s.

My bartender, a blonde middle-aged woman asks for my I.D. in her Russian accent. I recognize her from working the counter next door at Gilbert’s Liquor Store. I pay for my Corona, abiding to their “cash only” rule, and she walks away and continues her conversation with a young man, who I also recognize from the liquor store.

Their motto, “where the East Side meets,” rings a bell in my mind. The walls of Axel’s are decorated with a random assortment of pictures and signs that could also be found in a freshman dorm room. There’s a black and white Beatles poster next to neon Bud Light Sign. There are a few amateur paintings that look like they were created in an Intro to Drawing and Painting course. There’s a poster of a blonde 1980’s-esque woman in a red bathing suit. There’s a framed sign that just says, “Milwaukee culture.”

This bar has no theme. It’s kind of trying to be a sports bar, but only has two of the four televisions on. It’s kind of a classic rock bar, but it’s also infamous for playing terrible music depending on who is bartending. The theme is chaos. Perhaps that sign is right, maybe this bar really does encapsulate, “Milwaukee culture.” Maybe Milwaukee is the theme.

The bar is separated into two different rooms. The right side is reserved for the regulars. The same bald-headed men sit there night after night discussing sports and playing bar dice. The other side, along with two pool tables that are always missing balls, is reserved for the less weathered Axel’s patrons.

Then there’s the passageway to Oakland Gyros. A black door with no signifier of where it leads or who is allowed in, just a “watch your step” sign and a payphone next to it. Although it’s not stated, it’s known that only Axel’s and Oakland Gyros workers, and maybe a few honorable patrons can use this door. To use this door is the right-of-passage into the Axel’s hall of fame. Oakland Gyros workers come in often through this door, trade a Gyro for a beer, and proceed to the boxing arcade game.

Looking around Axel’s, it’s clear there is no general demographic of the bar. It’s full of men and women of all ages, all ethnicities, from all parts of the East Side. Axel’s is a refuge for social outcasts such as Raymond L. Ertl, the East Side’s grey bearded homeless man who can be found in either Bolton Hall, Cousin Subs or Axel’s at any given time. He is usually found ranting about something nonsensical and anti-semitic or discussing how the Internet has, “literally hundreds of videos.” Any other place in Milwaukee he would be kicked out instantly, but Axel’s welcomes Ray.

Then there’s the teacher, an Axel’s folklore who frequents nightly and after a six-pack of Heinekens he will entertain the bar with dancing. Not to forget Dr. Bob, a 60’s burnout, on any given night will get overly inebriated and offer narcotics, as well as marijuana to any person willing to talk to him.

Eric, the owner of Axel’s, inherited the bar from his dad, who still watches the security footage. This family tradition just adds on to the folk narrative that is Axel’s. With the cash-only rule, material swapping with Oakland Gyro’s, and the random peddlers trying to sell a, “new kind of cigarette” Axel’s is a nod to a simpler time.