A Crash Course on Online Dating in College: 5 Things to Avoid

Throughout the past 10 years, online dating has evolved, with app developers discovering new approaches and launching fresh formats for users to explore people outside of their immediate social circle. 

Most college students own smartphones with access to any dating service they desire and have “flirting” at their fingertips. Students living on and around the UW-Milwaukee campus are surrounded by thousands of peers and a city of approximately 600,000 residents. Claiming they have “run out of luck” in an immense pool of youthful singles is seemingly impossible, so maybe it is techniques that must be tweaked. Because the university does not offer any classes on the “unspoken ethics” of online dating, here are five things to avoid on platforms like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge.

1. Corny pick-up lines

The chances of receiving a response after sending “You look so familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry,” are slim to pity. Messaging someone like you would speak to them in person is more comfortable. If they cannot think of a response to match the pick-up line, they may just save it for later and forget to attempt a conversation.

“I think using pick-up lines is a very dumb way to go about approaching someone on a dating app,” Nate Becker, kinesiology student at UW-Milwaukee, said. “If they’re witty or something pertaining to the other person, it may be okay, but it shows that you don’t know how to talk to someone. For me, personally, what’s always worked is talking to them like a normal human being, and that ends up giving me the results I’m looking for.”

2. It’s a two-way street

You may think pretending to care about someone’s life story will automatically make them fall for you, but it’s not all about them. When the focus of the conversation is one person’s family, friends or work, they may forget to ask about your life and find themselves pondering why they just told those details to a complete stranger. If your potential partner is not rephrasing questions towards you and your life, try to relate to an aspect of theirs, and make your voice heard.

“Talk to them like how you would talk to a friend you haven’t seen in awhile or someone you’re meeting in class,” Becker said. “They aren’t always going to be head over heels for you, if the only thing you do is compliment them and build them up. Build your queens up, but don’t make that the only thing you can talk about, because that gets stale pretty quickly. It will fizzle out, because you’re not bringing anything to the table besides something anyone else could say.”

3. Basic profiles

No one is going to read a profile with a full-on autobiography, but try to be detailed and specific. Updates on dating apps have allowed users to select their hobbies and interests upon creating their profiles, so take your time on displaying things that suit you and what you would like to see in a partner.

4. Cars, pets and the fish you caught last summer

It’s understandable; you love your car, your family dog and you sure love fishing. Just know that other people don’t care to get to know the additions to your life before meeting the person shown on your profile. Don’t waste picture options on anything but yourself. Once a date is sitting in your passenger seat or being greeted by your furry friend, you can chat all about it.

“I don’t want to see pictures of cars or pets without that person in the photo,” Sarah Pfeifer, junior at UW-Milwaukee, said. “There’s no point in having a random picture of your truck on your dating profile. Am I going to date your truck? No.”

5. Friend group photos

We get it. You have an alarming amount of friends, but which one is you? If your profile only showcases every guys or girls night from the last year, how are potential matches supposed to put your name to a face? You do not need to eliminate those pictures, but throw in a few selfies.

“I think that people on dating apps, in general, should use pictures that are clearly of them — like you know that that’s them in the picture,” Pfeifer said.