3 Things to Know About The New Avengers Movie For Your Next Date

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You need to watch 18 Marvel movies to understand Avengers: Endgame before your third date with Josh. Or you could just read this.  

That whole thing with Thanos trying to destroy the universe

That giant, creepy-looking dude with a chin that looks like you ran his face over with your dad’s Lexus? That’s Thanos. He’s your classic super villain – like murdered half the universe evil. In the comics, Thanos was a member of the Eternals, a race of genetically-engineered superhumans who colonized Saturn’s largest moon. You know that crazy hot guy who sits next to you in your marketing class who got into college because his family owns half the city? Thanos is sort of like that sans the good looks. Mutant genes, amirite? His ultimate goal is to get his big purple hands on the Infinity Stones to completely obliterate the cosmos. Josh hates Thanos, so you probably should too.  

Those stones everyone is obsessed with

Remember those powerful little gems I mentioned earlier? Those are the infinity stones and, yes, you’re right, they would look fabulous with your new Moschino booties you found at Nordstrom last week. These stones can do more than accessorize, they can blow up planets, open wormholes, and rewind time. Ask Josh which stone is his favorite before the appetizer comes, and you’ll for sure be his date to the three-hour premiere. Thanos acquired all of the stones at the end of the last Avengers movie and desecrated half the universe. That’s where the film ended. What a cliffhanger, right? It’s almost exciting enough for you to actually be interested in watching it, but alas, a new episode of Keeping Up with The Kardashians is on, and rumor has it that Kim finally reveals why she changed up her hair style again.  

Who’s rollin’ up in the crew

So, you should definitely know who makes up the Avengers. We don’t have time to recap all 76 main characters (like just pick a few, ya know?), but a general consensus among Marvel fans lists Doctor Strange, Thor, Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Captain America as the most important. Can you believe it? All white dudes. Remind yourself to bring that one up in your Women and Gender Studies class next week. Don’t forget to mention how sad it was seeing Peter Parker die in Tony Stark’s arms at the end of the last movie, and Josh might even splurge on the large popcorn combo even though you’re not eating carbs that week. It’s the thought that counts.

Know these three key facts before your next date with Josh, and you’ll impress him without a doubt. And who knows – maybe you’ll actually get into the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe thing. But probably not.