Why You Should Spend Time With Yourself

Is it possible to spend too much time with someone? At one point in my life I thought that idea was crazy. I was in a long distance relationship for just about three years and I could never imagine thinking that I wanted to spend less time with someone I cared about so much. This wasn’t limited to just my boyfriend either. I craved being around my friends and family too. Since that time in my life a lot has changed, including my opinion on that question.

Lately, I have been distancing myself from certain people. Not because we got in an argument or I don’t like them anymore, but because I just need my space. I believe you can spend too much time with someone. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to do, but I do think that everyone needs “me time”, and if you’re spending too much time on others, you start to overlook yourself. I’m probably sounding really selfish right now. Let me rephrase this. You can’t love others if you can’t love yourself.

After my boyfriend moved back home, we were together all the time. Like, we moved in to his parents’ house immediately, and a couple months later we bought our own house. We also had three roommates living with us as well – all of which were our close friends. Some people might think this sounds like a blast. Five friends in their early twenties all under one roof! Of course, who wouldn’t want that? Uh, me.

From that point forward, I was never alone. There was always someone around, whether it was my boyfriend, my roommates, or my roommate’s friends. It was exhausting going from being just me, living with good ole mom and dad, to living with four other people. Oh, and did I mention I’m an only child? Alone time is practically hardwired into my brain. I missed being at home with my mom and dad knowing that there wouldn’t be four guys randomly walking around my house and interrupting the most dramatic part of my TV show. Long story short, it was a big change, and I found myself avoiding hanging out with people because being alone seemed like a better option.

My life was so different from then on out. I had a house to take care of. Money to worry about. College to survive. A puppy (now two) to take care of. A social life to maintain. You’re probably thinking, “Oh boohoo, you have responsibilities, get over it,” but it was hard. I was stressed out, and I started to forget about taking care of myself.

So I started spending more time alone. This, too, was difficult. I felt bad declining invitations to hang out with my friends. There were nights my boyfriend wanted to go do something and I asked if we could just stay home. I slowly found I started to feel better though. I had time to focus on me and what I wanted, rather than what everyone else wanted. It wasn’t like I suddenly turned into a homebody that didn’t leave the house for months at a time, but every weekend wasn’t dedicated to someone else anymore. And it was refreshing.

I found new things I liked to do. I took care of things that I had been procrastinating for months. I read a book. I napped. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I started to feel more like me again, and the people in my life noticed. Being able to be you and taking care of yourself is one of the most important things in your life. You are the one person you cannot ignore, and you should never feel as if you spent too much time on yourself.

If anyone else is feeling this way (I hope this isn’t just a me thing), I think it’s important that you choose to take care of yourself first. It can be hard at first, and sometimes even lonely, as contradictory as that is, but it’s important. Be blunt with the people in your life. Tell them no instead of sitting through a movie you didn’t even want to see in the first place. Explain to them that it’s nothing personal – because we all have that one friend that would take it personal. Sometimes, we feel as if we spend too much time on ourselves, but not too much on others. Remember to spend just as much time on you as you would on anyone else.