Why It’s OK To Be Single In College

Before I went to college, I had a plan. In order for me to fall in love, get married, have kids and live happily ever after, I had determined that it was essential I meet the perfect boy in college.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who was discouraged by parents in high school saying “No boyfriends until college,” but that didn’t stop me from acquiring three serious relationships during those four years.

As far as I was concerned, it all came down to timing, and college was just the opportunity. I needed enough time to meet someone, fall in love. I’d want a decent amount of time together before getting serious- 6 months at the very least. I wanted to spend my college years falling in love. Four years would be plenty of time after all to find the ‘perfect’ person to get married to and live happily ever after right after graduation.

Then I asked myself a few questions. Why do I feel pressured to be in a relationship? After a significant amount of consideration and self-evaluation, I came to the conclusion that I had developed the mindset that I needed to be with someone to be happy. Why was I spending so much time and energy looking for someone? What would happen if I gave up the search all together and focused that energy elsewhere? So, I did, and this is what I came up with.

By deleting Tinder and reducing the number of strangers I added on social media, I was on my phone significantly less than I was during my search. Instead, I became more aware of my surroundings, and strengthened the friendships I had made previously. I had less distractions from what was going on around me.

This led me to become more focused on my classes. After all, I was in college for a reason. My grades and GPA improved, and I learned to actually enjoy taking classes. Some of them at least. I was able to put my education first and prioritize my homework before the inevitable distraction of boys.

Living a Single Life provides a significant amount of freedom that isn’t always, shall we say, tolerated when in a relationship. I had options. Living the Single Life while in college can be A LOT of fun. This includes going out with friends to lunch on a regular basis, instead of a significant other. Going to house parties and the bars with my girlfriends- once again improving my platonic relationships.

But with all the free time of a Single Life comes a blessing in disguise. With no one demanding your time, living single can result in spending a lot of time alone. This can be difficult, sometimes extremely, but also very beneficial. Learning how to be happy by yourself is something that is impossible to do when in a relationship.

One thing that was a toss up of living a Single Life is what rules all our lives: money. Without spending money on gifts and extravagant date nights with your boo, suddenly you will have a little extra money to set aside. Or, in my case, spending it elsewhere. Instead of spoiling someone else- use the money to spoil yourself! You deserve it.

Along those lines, it’s important to learn how to put yourself first. I learned a lot about myself while living a Single Life. I learned how to live on my own without the constant presence of a personified support system attached to my hip. Every challenge I faced during college, I handled on my own, and that is not something that you can figure out with a significant other- at least not easily.

As a disclaimer to these very straightforward and logical points: Don’t shun a relationship if it presents itself. Yes, college is a time to learn independence, but there is also nothing wrong with having someone by your side when you do. If you find your someone, be with them if you can! Happiness comes in all forms, sometimes obvious and other times hidden.

Needless to say, I’ve had a change of mind- and heart. Instead of looking for one perfect person, I’ve surrounded myself with strong friendships for support and I’ve learned to value my family more than anything else. Being single in college and owning it is one of the best things that happened to me. Putting yourself first is one of the best choices you can make for yourself.